Providing Information and Enhancing Skills: Helping Parents Practice Prevention with Their Children and Teens
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HOW CAN COMMUNITY BUILDERS COMMUNICATE WITH PARENTS ABOUT PREVENTION ISSUES?
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WHAT CAN PARENTS DO TO PREVENT THEIR CHILDREN'S RISKY OR DANGEROUS BEHAVIOR?
As community builders and health care workers, we need to think about how to help families stay healthy. And one of the greatest struggles families have in keeping healthy is preventing children and teenagers from becoming involved in activities that are dangerous or risky. Many families struggle to prevent their children and teens from getting involved in drugs, becoming pregnant before they are ready, drinking alcohol, smoking cigarettes, losing too much weight, joining violent gangs, or becoming involved in other harmful activities.
Parents care deeply about their children and want the best for them. They want to learn about prevention strategies, so that they can stop their children's risky or dangerous behavior before it starts.
As community builders, we can help. We can develop prevention education programs in our communities that are interesting and accessible to parents. We can reach out to families in all segments of a community. We can provide support and counseling to families.
However, no matter what we do, we have to start with the basics. In order to reach parents, we need to learn how to communicate with them about important and sensitive issues. Many parents want information about prevention but often don't know how to get it. Sometimes parents feel defensive about their children or intimidated by "professionals." As community builders, we need to think about how to overcome parents' mistrust in order to communicate important information to them.
Additionally, we have to help parents understand what they can do to prevent risky behavior in their children. For example, what can parents do so their children will come to them when they need to talk or get some guidance? How do parents set limits with their children that are workable? What do parents tell their children about the realities of sex and relationships, drugs and alcohol, or violence?
HOW CAN COMMUNITY BUILDERS COMMUNICATE WITH PARENTS ABOUT PREVENTION ISSUES?
As community builders, we are eager to help families. But sometimes helping families around prevention issues is not an easy job. Parents are often wary of "helpers," and sometimes for good reason. Sometimes people in the social services, usually with the best of intentions, approach parents with unconscious criticism or unwanted advice.
In order to be truly helpful to parents and families in the area of prevention, we need to learn how to appreciate and empower parents, rather than to "correct " them. We have to understand what parents are up against, and then offer support and information.
Once you develop trust with parents, they want your help. You are needed!
Parenting is a tough job. With extended families not as prevalent as they used to be, parents are often on their own and without help. Many parents are stretched financially; some live with constant worry about meeting their family's basic needs. To make matters worse, our society often blames parents for not doing a better job, rather than giving parents the resources they need to do their jobs well.
However, even though many parents are up against great odds, we know that they care deeply about their children. Ask any parent to talk about their children--if you listen long enough and can get beneath the surface, parents will usually describe their children as their most precious gifts.
Most parents wish they could do better than they are doing. Parents long to give their children a better start in life than they had. For parents, there is usually a wide gap between what they want to give their children and what they can actually give, given the present conditions in our society.
With all the longing to do better, coupled with the criticism directed at parents by society at large, it is no wonder that parents might feel bad about themselves and defensive about their parenting.
Therefore, as community builders we have to figure out how to help parents, given the defensiveness and mistrust that is often an obstacle. We have to think of ways to communicate which will build trust and draw on the expertise and knowledge of the parents. Here are some steps you can take to communicate effectively with parents.
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