1. Consider timing
Mentors: Find a woman to mentor—it’s never too early
No matter what stage you’re at in your career, you can mentor another woman. If you’re farther along in your career, pay it forward by investing in a woman just starting out. And if you’re early in your career, find a woman who’s coming up behind you or a student who’s interested in your field. Don’t underestimate the value of your input—you may have just been through what she’s experiencing.
Mentees: Don’t ask, "Will you be my mentor?"
If you have to ask a woman to be your mentor, the answer is probably no. Mentorship relationships start with a mutual connection—and mentors often select protégés based on their performance and potential.2 So shift your thinking from "If I get a mentor, I’ll excel" to "If I excel, I will get a mentor." Find a woman whose career path aligns with your goals and work hard to get noticed. For example, share your ideas for making a project she’s leading better or volunteer for an initiative that’s important to her.
2. Respect their energy
Mentors: Invest in your mentee's success
Commit time and energy to developing your mentee. Make yourself available and take the time to understand her questions and give her thoughtful and thorough input. Ask your mentee for regular updates. The more you understand her progress—and what’s working and what's not, the more effective you can be as a mentor. If she's not using your time wisely, be clear about your expectations and set guidelines for your time together. You'll both benefit from getting into a good rhythm
Mentees: Your mentor’s time is valuable—treat it that way
Show your mentor you value her time by using it wisely. Avoid meeting just to catch up or asking questions you can find answers to yourself. Instead, come to her with thoughtful questions and be ready to discuss real challenges you’re facing. Then listen carefully to her recommendations and report back on your progress. She’s more likely to continue to invest in you if you’re acting on her input—and she sees the impact she’s having on your career.