I was born on the 7th July 1991.Conversations with my mother suggest it was in the morning hours. I don't recall how I felt but I assume I was pleased to finally be out, I want to believe my parents were happy, after all they named me ''Rethabile, which means ''we are happy''. I come from a fairly decent home, I guess everyone has their own opinion. I have never put labels on my parent’s accomplishments but what i know is, they worked hard to get what they have now. A turning point in my life was in high school, every child's dream. I think mainly because of the curiosity we have about it, the freedom away from parents or guardians, doing what you want, whenever you want to without looking over your shoulder. I assume many of us can relate about such thoughts when you think of 'high school. I was sent to high school boarding school to be precise at the age of 12 years. I suppose my parents wanted to teach 'independence at a young age'' This was a place where I had my turning point in life, I was academically good, I enjoyed science, played sports and was good at it until the day a girl named Piks began her bullying. She bullied me because i was different, I was surrounded by an AURA that made people talk to me freely and i think that ticked her off, I remember buying some snacks at the tuck shop and pronounced ''tomato chips'' with an accent, according to her I had to pronounce it their way. Which thinking about it now just doesn't make sense, going to an English medium school comes with its perks and I'm not going to apologies for it. Back then, I was confused as to why she felt the need to bully me. She presented feelings of loneliness, low self-esteem and i think her weight wasn't doing justice for her. She made my years miserable, i hated every second and just wanted out. She was later joined by another girl who for the sake of this essay will name her Kuro. kuro's educational journey was not a pleasant one, she was way old to be in class with us and it bothered her. Like, I mean, you might as well be someone's mother or grandmother. Anyway, they both started a movement of bullying me day in and day out. During my bullying years, i started contemplating on ''suicide'', I hated school, i was fed up with everyone and i hated the fact that, i couldn't speak to my parents, because in black communities, such topics or conversations are a taboo. There was a day I wrote a letter to my friend and told her i was going to kill myself at the end of the day, I was as explicit as to what i will do to myself. ''I was going to lie on the train racks and wait for the train to run me over''. I think that might have traumatized her because i don't remember her reacting after reading the letter. School was almost over and there i was sitting with my other friend, talking about life and learning i wasn't the only one who was sick about being in boarding school, she had her fair share of terrible moments and as we got lost in our talks, the thought of me wanting to kill myself vanished within my mind. 'I felt God's love in me. As if that would stop Kuro and Piks from bullying, but sadly no. it continued up until matric, what I needed was for me to push, pass, finish and get OUT.
Fast forward in life, I met my husband who started off as a close friend, he would listen and comfort me and I was able to put my soul out without any fear. Growing into adulthood i realized that LIFE isn't complicated, the importance of educating yourself about issues affecting our communities is of vital importance, I then started to thoroughly research about mental health, was able to identify the types that affected those close to me and I made a promise to myself that instead of 'crying every day at night, not being able to continue my passions, i will freely talk about mental health, until someone feels comfortable to open up. I have created a theme based mental health publication called ''letter to a friend, it's still in its infancy stage but i however have people who write to us. We encourage the use of expressive writing and art. our topics are all mental health related and what we do is have individuals write about their experiences or challenges based on a specified topic, we print the stories in order to encourage and motivate someone who might be going through a similar situation and call out for them to openly express and seek intervention. It's quite a challenge because of the stigma that surrounds mental health but i believe as long as I have a voice, and a support structure that understands the importance of a healthy mental health, breaking the stigma is no longer a challenge.