“Why are you holding that visible plastic of pads like that? Haven’t you heard about what they say about those girls who are having periods?” hushed my childhood friend Rethabile. The menstrual shame was real, so was the body shaming. I stared at my childhood friend, aghast at her statement that insinuated that I had broken my virginity just because I had experienced my first period. There were so many who thought just like she did, it was a myth that most guys had, and it made girls feel bad about having their period. Instead of embracing the monthly period, I was ashamed of it and constantly felt like I had to hide and shrink myself. The worst part was undergoing puberty and menstruation way earlier than my peers. It was a lonely dark time for me, as I was unable to confide in any of my best friends as they had not undergone puberty yet.
My fast developing breasts only made things worse as they drew everyone’s eyes and were a major concern for my grandmother who believed that children my age should not have breasts as large as I did. My grandmother then began a series of attempts to reduce the growth of my breasts using cultural belief systems. One of the ways she would try to halt the fast progression of my breasts were to use my younger brother’s underwear to hit at them. Instead of finding solace in my grandmother, her determination to try and curb the development of my breasts only made me feel self-conscious and betrayed by my body for growing faster than my peers’ bodies. Instead of heeding to my grandmother’s attempts, the more the breasts defied and grew.
I soon realized that I was not alone, the menstrual shame was real and hence my inspiration to make sure I work on sexual and reproductive health and rights with young people in the rural communities where sex and reproductive health rights are still taboo and young people are uninformed about issues concerning their health. Through my work, I engage with young people about issues concerning sexual orientation, puberty, their self-awareness, menstruation and myths concerning those. Upon opening such conversation lines, I also encourage young people to take charge of their lives and defy the norms. Through the conversations, I also try to discuss issues around patriarchy and defying gender stereotypes. I also use my voice as a writer to reach as many platforms and young people as I can.
I had an incident in tertiary, where I was nearly sexually assaulted by a colleague. This experience was so traumatic and I began advocating and engaging with other young women around issues involving rape and sexual and gender based violence. Now I am engaged in an intervention that seeks to educate children as young as ten years about sexual and gender based violence, child marriages and children protection rights so that they are well informed and able to report such cases to the relevant authorities. Working hand in hand with the communities and law enforcement authorities gives me meaning and purpose in my life.
Another component that is equally important to me is economic inclusion of young women and I work with them to assist them in starting savings led micro-finance village banks where they are encouraged to also start small businesses. I believe that empowered girls and women are also less likely to stay in abusive households and are also more likely to take charge of their sexual and reproductive health and rights and not be oppressed. Through the savings group, I help establish and mentor, I try to also reduce the scourge of HIV and prevalence rate amongst young girls who often fall prey to dating older men because of the cycle of poverty. My work within the SDGs, in particular, SDG 1, 3, 4 and 5 give meaning to my life and help me shape the world I want to live in; where girls and young women are empowered economically and socially. We are generation Equality!