In the world full of judgements, it’s tough making a living. One day, you might get praised but another day whoosh...There’s no certainty that the world gonna stay sustained with these regards. And there comes the contrary me whose life has friended with chaos and catastrophe. Not a single day, passes by not having a mind full of running millions word in sky rocketing speed. Perhaps, may it be the reason for who I was becoming?
For everyone around me, life was so surreal, so sorted. It could not be seen as a myth of upside down but rather a hill where you just have to climb higher and higher to get a mesmerizing view. The me, where I thought that I lived in a picture perfect world used to really shatter me down. The” You’re-just-perfect-on-you-own”, the “you-should-not-be-comparing-yourselves-with-other”, the “having-inferiority-complex-would-only-make-you-worse”, and the main “Everything-will-pass-on-eventually, you-will-be-good”. These words felt good to be heard but would relive the misery inside.
One day a moment of truth had to be faced. From being an introvert to opening up to everyone, the gathered up energy that been consumed. Even more, trying to please everyone around, just to see have happy had drained down the energy even more. But, all led was to incompleteness. The effort I gestured never seemed to work out. The plan I made never seemed to be happening. The more i invest upon, the more twisted it turned out to. And there comes a phase of realization of how I have been looking upon my life.
The grand event Chitwan Model United Nation organized by Youth Thinkers’ Society-Chitwan showed me how wrong I have been all my life. Being a part of YTS family, and just being demoralized with every aspect I bump upon was just so unjust. Looking at how the things that have been going, how actually I was perceiving every aspect was not worth justifying the life I have been living. Still the world had lots to give. On another, I had lots to take in. The principle of wanting to be wanted vanished all of a sudden. The competitive environment around was the reason that kept everyone motivated around. It just didn’t hit me before. The world had marched up to how tough and resilient it had become and I was there having a thought of injustice I had been facing. It could be recalled as event of self-realization of how much more I had to give in to become what I had always wanted to be. I regard it as turnover, and being engaged in tasks out of comfort zone, thinking outside of box and especially out challenging self really does wonders.
And now, I’ve constantly working up with changing the mindset of the people as we, the people who believed in retrogressive world work out on how the progressive environment we can forth onwards.