Depression can be a vicious cycle. And oftentimes it can feel permanent and everlasting.
It can feel like there is no way of breaking it because, everywhere we are and in everything we do, it lurks within the shadows of our existence. It is almost as if we are carrying all of this emotional baggage with us wherever we go, all of the time.
Sometimes, depression is just a stepping stone in life that we have to go through and learn from to get to the next stage of our lives.
I realized that depression can motivate us towards growth. When I was depressed a year ago my life turned completely grey. I can swear that when I look back at those times there was no color in my world at all. There was no brightness or zest for life, just dullness and apathy.
I was in a new working area, had no friends around. And being the incredibly introverted person that I was, it was difficult to make contact with anyone. I became a recluse, and I didn’t like it.
Staying alone, I only left the vacancy of my house for one reason: work
At least during those times when I left my house, I was around people, however, being around people and pretend to be fine was also a big challenge. But the most discomforting moments were the times laying in my bed, unable to sleep, and thinking how much longer this could last before I would have to end my life. When the thought first entered my mind I was shocked. I never considered myself someone who could end their own existence. “Do I even have the guts to do it?” I would ask myself.
It is within these deep states of contemplation where a catalyst for change can often emerge. I knew I had only a few choices: run away forever, die, or mend things back up and strive for something better in life.
The reason for my depression was the father of my child. Even after the breakup, he continued to harass me, insult, emotionally torture and torment me, embarrass me, recruit people to hate me with him, defame my character, send police to my house to harass me and my son, drag me to court to grab my son away from me. The rest is history. To sum up, at the end of it all, I won all the court cases, positivity won and the experience made me a stronger and wiser woman I am today.
Because of all that depression, I quit my job and the only thing I would do is lock myself up in my room, cry for months. The only time I left my room was to bath my son, nappy change, there was no need to cook much since he was exclusively breastfed by me.
At this point I viewed depression from a different perspective. The evolving role of negative states like depression is to get us to step back, think, and try to solve a problem in our lives.
I decided to start researching on how I can improve myself and help other people out there. I looked in my community and discovered that the most health problems faced today are cardiovascular diseases e.g high BP, stroke, heart attack, diabetes and most of these diseases are linked to obesity and overweight. It is in that room of depression where Sukie Weightloss Solutions LTD was born. While in my room, I did online courses in Nutrition and wellness coaching, got certifications, I further registered a company and started operating online. Today, this company is helping thousands across the globe lose weight, obtain optimal health and vibrance through my online coachings. Through my coachings, people have learned how to adopt good eating habits. It is not only helping people, but it has also become the source of livelihood for me, my son, and everyone around me. This was my turning point, this is how I became a change maker. The testimonies from the people I coach are amazing.
At least, that is how my depression worked for me. My depression felt everlasting, I felt powerless but when I dived into those feelings, thoughts, and memories, and I explored them, I noticed that my mind was trying to tell me something. It was telling me, “something has to change, this current path is unsustainable and you need to find what dissatisfies you so that you can overcome it.”
In this sense, my depression triggered a process of self-transformation.
Thus I began to search for answers. I turned my depression into a journey. I began reading about psychology and self-improvement, and the different ways I could begin turning my life around.
I started “reframing” all of my problems into opportunities for growth, even my depression itself:
My depression didn’t have to last forever, it was just the first step towards happiness.
This new way of seeing my depression sparked something in my brain and blew my mind wide open to new possibilities.
This was my turning point, I'm now a change maker, a youth lead